Oh, to sit at the wheel of that gleaming $800,000 chariot that is the Porsche 918 Spyder, the effortless might of its 4.6-liter V-8 at one’s beck and call, a pretty girl at one’s side and a ready audience of potential admirers — all among the beautiful people in the French Riviera resort town of Saint-Tropez.
Oh, to have the wisdom necessary for enjoying all of the above. Thanks to the U.K. Metro, we now have a sort of instructional video on the importance of intelligence, or perhaps humility, as a component of social awareness and motor-vehicular stylishness.
Is Joe Cool waving his arms in triumph or ecstasy before embarking, or is he impatiently motioning for everyone to get out of his way lest they be flattened by his awesomeness? The latter, we believe.
Note the aplomb, the rakish gesture, as he eases his steed forward. It never hurts to have a little of the ghetto in your act, even at the Hotel Epi-Plage.
Notice the rocket-like acceleration as Spyder Man scatters innocent pedestrians like bowling pins and, in a last (successful, thank God) effort to avert vehicular manslaughter charges, veers crazily off course and plows into one of those inanimate entities that are the enemies of Porsches and clumsy oafs alike.
We regret that we have no record of the conversation that ensued with the bystanders (byrunners and byleapers?).
We regret that we have no record of the conversation that ensued when the gendarmes arrived with their frowns and ticket books.
We regret that we have no record of the conversation that ensued when Spyder Man took his lamed thoroughbred to the veterinarian.
We regret most of all that we have no record of the conversation that ensued with the young lady. Might it have included, “I was trying to do that, babe”?
Somehow it’s easy to imagine it that way. Let’s.
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