Let me start with this: Why am I not surprised the video you’re about to see was posted to YouTube on Valentine’s Day?
We, as a culture, do plenty of inexplicably doltish things on Valentine’s Day. We spend $200 on “intimate” dinners in trendy fusion bistros packed to the brim with other couples trying to have the exact same thing. We buy stuffed animals our significant other will look at maybe once more in a lifetime. We pretend Russell Stover chocolates are edible.
Dumb as those things are, however, they at least have one thing going for them: None of them involve falling off of an escalator and breaking your arm to impress a girl. Because, yeah, that’s what happens in this video.
This video, posted by Dazespin on that most forcibly romantic of days, shows what happens when you decide to impress a stupid person by doing something even more stupid. This is a strategy that usually doesn’t yield results; just try telling a Hillary Clinton supporter you voted for Jill Stein and then seeing if you can get their phone number.
The video begins with a half-naked young woman — who I am sure has had nothing to drink — riding on the handrail of a down escalator. This is a particularly dumb move, but a young man comes up right beside her and decides to impress her by following her lead.
There’s one problem in his strategy, though. See, on her side, the handrail is abutted by a wall. On his side, the handrail is adjacent to what looks like a 20-foot drop-off. You perhaps begin to see where this is about to go.
(WARNING: Somewhat graphic at the end.)
Yeah, I don’t think his right arm is supposed to be moving like that.
So, cheer up, America.
Sure, your Valentine’s Day may have been as insipid as it always is. You may have ended up eating your dinner in some exorbitant hashery with portions that wouldn’t pass muster as the in-flight snack on Loompaland International Airlines. The folks at the Vermont Teddy Bear Company may be snickering after cozening you out of another $129.99 for one more dumb stuffed toy that somehow passes as romantic.
However, you didn’t get a compound fracture trying to impress the type of woman who rides on escalator railings. That has to count for something.
H/T The Daily Caller
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